don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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