Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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