Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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