I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
