He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
