Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
