I can't watch pbs sober anymore
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
