that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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