Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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