oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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