yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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