I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
