cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
