I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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