what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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