Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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