She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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