would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
