somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
