the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
