There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
