I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
