he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
