I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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