I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
birth control should be required to get into college
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
