I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
