No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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