so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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