I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
