Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
