He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
