She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
