I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
