Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
