No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
