"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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