put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
