If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
