Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
