I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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