he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
