stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So. Much. Porn.
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