Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
