Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
