the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
