i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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