she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
