You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
