It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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