i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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