Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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(770): View more from Georgia

I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.

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(587): View more from Alberta

She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him

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