So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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