How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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