I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
