Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
