What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
