So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
