i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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