Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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