he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
