OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
