so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
and you fell through a lawn chair
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
