Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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