Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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