Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
