I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
