i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Randomize