we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
